You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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