i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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