i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
