How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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