If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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