Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
