Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
