You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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