lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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