His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
