Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
