Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
