"it" just moved
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
