The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
