yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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