Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
