i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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