Sponge bath it is.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
