You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
