im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
