I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
