brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
