I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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