What did we do last night that was yellow?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
