The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
