I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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