maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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