you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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