it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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