My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
