One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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