one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
