it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Still dying that you shit outside
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
