her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
