pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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