At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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