I need help removing her.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my shit smells like andre
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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