Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
