He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
