I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
