in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize