Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
