spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
In other news, I just burned my penis
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize