dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
