I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
