but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
