no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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