What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
