the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So vagazzling was a success
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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