You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
