you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
