I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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