omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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