My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
