sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
