I wish I could punch you in the face.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
