I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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