That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
