so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
