i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
