We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My liver just had a heart attack.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
