Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Mom said you looked used
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
