bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
