physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
