dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
