your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The adults are the big ones right?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
