She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize