We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
