i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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