First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
