Michael Bay diarrhea
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
